Connective Rope

June 21, 2016 in Hebari's Blog, Rope

20160611 - Victoria Rose 0052This may seem obvious but sensual rope is about engaging the senses and what may surprise you is there are more than 5. We all know about sight, sound, touch, taste and smell, all first order senses what is often missed are not strictly speaking senses but I’m going to take some poetic license.

Sense of timing, sense of trust, sense of state, sense of intensity, sense of space and sense of flow.

Very often I think people wanting to get into sensual rope do one of two things, they either smother the person they are tying or they try to use the first order senses as a series of buttons to be pushed to get an effect.

Each of these have elements that can be used and may look similar to a more connected rope scene but the thing that makes the difference is extended senses if I can call them that.

The way I like to think of it is like an old school story teller taking an audience on a journey, feeding off their reactions and changing the story as they go for maximum impact with a few twists for those that have heard the story before. That subtle understanding of the human condition, the reading of expressions and the sounds the audience makes, sometimes calm then building up to a crescendo, a pause then the revelation.

So I think of myself as a story teller, a purveyor of sensual journeys, and to tell those stories I have to use the language of human experience.

Kurt Vonnegut did a great lecture on this exact point called “The shape of stories” where he discusses the concept of flow, intensity and timing as it relates to the way people experience a story.

Rope is the same,  we experience it though the difference between moments and states. If things happen very fast and intensely then it builds up until we either break out or burn out. If we experience thing at a low intensity and a slow measured pace it’s either calming or boring depending on the context. Whether it’s a good piece of music, a play, a movie or a conversation the most interesting experiences generally have build ups, pauses, intense periods followed by calm and then the build again. A spike of intensity after a pregnant pause and so on.

The other thing about experience is the idea of “right moments”, the best example for me is a kiss, if you go in for a kiss a bit early it’s awkward and the same if it’s a bit late, there is an indefinable “right moment” to kiss someone and the only way to work it out is through intuition.

Intuition was once described to me as the queues our subconscious mind gives to our conscious mind after processing far more information than our concious mind ever could, and the way it informs us of it’s conclusion is with “those feelings”, the pressure or the feeling that it’s not the right time. The hard part is learning to listen. We all have days when our brain is full for whatever reason and our ability to listen to our intuition or our partners in just not very good, maybe we are tired or maybe we had bad news or any number of other things. On days like that I don’t do rope, I find a way to relax that doesn’t require me to be very capable.

So if I listen to my intuition and the feedback I get from my partner, then use my skills at both rope and story telling the end result is a unique journey, a conversation tailored to the people involved and our momentary state of being, and that is the best connective rope for me.

Goodbye Sensei

March 9, 2016 in Hebari's Blog, Rope

Yukimura Haruki Sensei was a great man, and the world is less for his passing.

0004cab1-37c2-c3a9-8f50-37560ab14059_720I had heard of Yukimura sensei for some time before I finally met him in 2012 while visiting Japan for rope lessons with Kinoko and Osada Steve.
I was lucky enough to be in contact with Hajime Kinoko and asked him about meeting Yukimura sensei, he said he would find out and the end result was both of us doing two days with him as students.
Aside from the time with sensei, I also had the honour of watching Kinoko san and Yukimura sensei chatting and discussing the world of rope. The old and the new generation of nawashi together, it was something I’ll never forget.



0004cab1-b88a-fc86-0146-08b95cc497cb_720Over the next couple of years I went to Japan 3 or 4 times a year and despite how little I managed to retain of the language, I worked hard on my rope with sensei. The patterns didn’t change much but each time I got better at what I had learned and slowly got glimpses of deeper concepts. One hard earned layer becoming the foundation for the next







0004f470-6913-9a85-02d2-ee0d60f104ae_720On the 13th of March 2014, sensei bestowed on me my student name and my first class teaching certificate on his visit to Sydney.

While I felt very lucky, I knew then that it was just the beginning of my responsibility to learn all I could and deserve the honour I had been given.



Unfortunately that is just chronology and doesn’t say much about a great man. Sensei had a wonderful way about him, just very relaxed and easy to laugh. He played the role of the dirty old uncle so very well, turning models into jelly with a few gravely words, and the lightest touch of his hand. Everything looked so casual and relaxed, almost an afterthought, but if you asked any of his models they would tell you they never felt his presence waver from them while they were in his rope.
Nothing was overt with sensei, like a finely spiced meal, nothing overwhelming but the cumulative effect was so powerful to watch and ask any of his models and they would tell you how addictive it was.
Something my rope is only the shadow of.

I remember tying a Japanese model in front of sensei in his little lounge room, feeling like I was starting to get it when sensei said a few words in his rough relaxed voice and my model just came apart. I looked up at my translator and gave her a questioning look. She said “Oh, sensei just said she’s a naughty little girl and he’ll have to have her suck his cock later”, and that was so him, to be able to deliver the dirtiest talk with a little laugh and have models just fall apart with shame and excitement. I’ve never seen anyone that could come close to that.

My favourite memories were of the lunches at his place, sensei was a brilliant chef, quite simply the best food I’ve ever had in Japan was at sensei’s table. Relaxed lunches and suppers with our models chatting about rope and the west, about energy and feeling. I learned more about the real art of sensei at those times.

I want to write more but I can’t at the moment, I’m just a bit too sad but maybe I’ll write more later. For now I just hope to give a few people a little glimpse into the amazing man I had the privilege to learn from.

Thank you sensei
Haru isamu